How to Get Both Partners at the Appointment (and What to Do When You Can't)

She opens the door with the dog under one arm. "He's sorry, he got called into work. But I'll tell him everything, I know what we want." You can see his van's not on the drive. You've driven forty minutes. The kettle's already on.

Most reps go in and do the full thing anyway. Ninety minutes, measure up, price on the table. Then she says she'll talk to him tonight. And that's the last real conversation anyone has about it.

If you want to know how to get both partners at the appointment, the honest answer is that most of the work happens before you ever knock. You set it up when the appointment's booked. You check it again the day before. And when one of them's missing anyway, you change what today is for, out loud, so you're not presenting to half a decision.

Why it matters more than people think

I call these one-leggers. In more than 40 years selling home improvements in people's homes, I've seen the same thing happen over and over. The person in front of you agrees with everything. Nods along. Then they go and speak to the husband or wife who wasn't there, and it gets kicked into the long grass.

The other partner isn't being awkward. Think about what they actually get. You had ninety minutes to find out about the draught round the back door, the bedroom nobody wants to sleep in, the reason it has to be done before Christmas. They get a two-minute summary while the tea's being made and a piece of paper with a number on it. That's all they've got to go on. So to them you're just another line on a spreadsheet next to the other four or five quotes, and with nothing to tell you apart, the only thing left to compare is price.

The only time you can change that is when you're all together in the room.

Get it sorted when it's booked

This is where most companies drop the ball, and nine times out of ten it happens in the office. Somebody rings up, asks for a quote, and the booking's done in under a minute. Name, address, Tuesday at two. Nobody asks who else lives there or who'll be making the decision.

I'd rather book one appointment a day later with both of them sat down than two appointments this week with one each. It's a short question when you book. Something like: "It's a fair bit of money and it's your home, so most couples like to both be there to ask their own questions. When's a good time for the two of you?" Then actually offer the evenings and the Saturday. If you only work nine to five, you'll get a lot of appointments with whoever happens to be at home, and you'll lose a lot of them.

Then confirm it the day before, and mention both names. "Just checking you and your husband are both still fine for half six tomorrow." If he's not going to make it, you'd much rather find out on the phone than on the doorstep.

Don't ask if they're the decision-maker

You'll hear people tell you to ask, "Are you the decision-maker?" I hate it. It feels like you're lining them up, and people get defensive, so they'll say yes just to get you off the subject. Then at the end it's "I'll have to run it past my wife."

Asking "is there anyone else you'd like involved for a second opinion?" gets a far more honest answer, because it's about them being comfortable. Nobody feels cornered by that.

When one of them's missing anyway

It'll still happen. Somebody's called into work, someone's on nights, the daughter who's paying for half of it lives two hours away. So what do you do?

You don't pretend it's a normal appointment. Right at the start, before you've looked at anything, I'll say something like: "Is today just a first conversation, so you can get some information together, and then we have a second one with your husband when he's back, because it sounds like it's a decision you'll make together?"

That's taking the get out of jail card off them at the start, not fighting with it at the end. "I need to speak to my partner" can't be sprung on you after the price if you've already agreed between you that there's a second conversation coming.

Then use today properly. Do your WHY questions. Find out what's wrong with the room, how long it's been bothering them, what happens if they leave it another winter. Measure up. But don't leave a price behind for someone else to present for you, because they won't present it like you would. Book the return visit before you leave, with both of them in the diary.

Sometimes that's not possible, and you have to work with what's in front of you. Then I'll ask, "Do you mind if I join the call when you talk it through with him, so if he's got any questions I can answer them?" Or I'll set up a WhatsApp group with both of them before I go: "I'm certain you'll have some questions, just pop them on here." Because if the other person's deciding without you, you've got no control over that whatsoever.

What it looks like when it works

One of the reps I coach sold 4 of his 6 presentations in one week, £19k, after we worked on finding the emotional reason behind the purchase and getting agreement up front to make a decision on the day. That's one person's result, not a promise. But it shows what happens when the decision gets agreed at the start, with the right people in the room, instead of chased at the end.

That's the Frame step in the 7 Steps to Sales Mastery, really. Tell them why you're there and what happens next, before anything else. Get the right people in the room and half the objections you'd normally hear at the end never come up.

Look, nobody enjoys driving home knowing they did a great job for someone who can't say yes. If you've got a lot of customers sat in the "speaking to my other half" pile, that's usually the place to look first.

If you'd like to see where your own sales are leaking, take the free 2-minute Sales Leak Assessment and book a free 30-minute discovery call with me.